Black suits and alien detectives
by breathing is over-rated
Summary: Sherlock is not what he seems and John finds out the hard way. Crap summary, I know. Just read it.


**AN-**This is something I found while clean up my folders...It's a long forgotten fic and, as such, is probably crap. Oh well, Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Black suits and alien detectives<strong>

_The name's Watson. John Watson. I had a good, action packed life as a army medic until I was invalided home with a bullet wound in my shoulder and a limp. I thought my life had ended. That was until I met probably __**the **__most amazing man in the universe, Sherlock Holmes, who happens to be the worlds only consulting detective. I'll never have to worry about leading a boring, dull life when I'm with him. I couldn't imagine living without him. I would (and have) killed for this enigmatic man. But there are times when I want to kill him myself too. This is on of those times. _

John lifted his head, the only part of his body he could move, and looked round at the metallic walls that marked the boundaries of his cell. The cuffs that attached his hands and feet to the metal chair gleamed from the bright white lights above him. The soldier thought back to the last thing he could remember. _Sherlock had lead him into one of the many alleyways of London. His army instincts told him there was someone behind him. He turned and was somehow knocked unconscious_. His head throbbed. _While I'm on the subject of Holmes, I am going to kill him._ John was brought back into reality by the clicking of a door behind him. He turned his head as far as his restraints would allow to see to men in immaculate black suits walking over to him.

_Oh fucking hell_

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><p>'Dr Watson. We assume you know why you are here.' The soldier hated it when his kidnappers decided he was a mind reader like the man he followed.<p>

'I haven't the foggiest idea where the fuck I am or why I'm here, so if you'd be so kind as to let me go, it would be much appreciated.' He all but spat at his captors. One of the men's mouth twitched slightly, other than that, their facial expressions remained impassive. Almost as if they hadn't heard him.

'You mean to tell us that you have been brought here?' The one who asked the question had an eyebrow raised, clearly in disbelief.

'That is what I said, yes.' John drawled, 'Though, if I had to harbour a guess I would say that that bloody genius I have as a flat mate has a lot of explaining to do if he doesn't want me to find out how long it takes for that hydrochloric acid he keeps in the fridge to completely pass through his neck.' The two men looked at him for what seemed like an age before one that had asked the questions sighed then clicked something in his pocket. The restraints released immediately and John subconsciously rubbed his wrists.

'Great, great. Now, where is Sherlock.' He asked, sounding slightly more aggressive than he meant to. The door opened and he was let out into a white walled corridor.

'Dr Watson,' John looked at the speaker again.

'hmmm?'

'Would you talk to…uh, Sherlock for us. He's being remarkably…stubborn.' The soldier eyed him suspiciously.

'What do you want from him?' He asked. He never got the answer.

'Look, you can help us or we can put you right back in the cell.' John sighed then nodded. He knew the men weren't going to get anything out of Sherlock and he wasn't going to get anywhere strapped to a chair.

A few doors down the corridor stood the cell with Sherlock inside. Once John was inside, the door had closed behind him, cutting the two off from the rest of the world. He turned his attention onto the man who was strapped to a metal chair in much the same way he had been, only the restraints appeared to be much stronger. The doctor gave a exasperated sigh.

'Sherlock. What the fuck have you gotten us into now?' The detective looked up, as if suddenly realising someone else was in the room. His eyes were glazed as he stared. His pale skin was mottled with cuts and bruises of varying degrees of damage. Anger rose in the doctors chest as he immediately studied the patient before him, cataloguing all the damage the man a sustained and filing them away for later use. There wasn't a lot he could do at the moment so instead he crouched so he rested his arms on the taller males' knees.

'I'm still waiting for an answer, Sherlock.' The other man looked straight into his eyes, which glowed in defiance. John returned the gesture with a stare that both men would never give in. Eventually Sherlock sighed and looked away, clearing his throat.

'John.' the doctor could tell it was painful for him to speak. 'There are some things about me that I haven't told you about.' The doctor said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

'John, I….I.' Sherlock's voice broke slightly. He took a deep breath. 'John, I'm not human.'

John's mind had stopped working properly. _What could he mean? Not human, of course he's human. What else could he be?' _Then his thoughts were invaded by a new voice.

'_John, listen to me. Please.'_ All the thoughts that had previously been whizzing round his head at break neck speed froze. All except one.

'_Sherlock? How the hell did you get into my head?'_

'_I've been in your head for a long time, John, near enough since we met. I like it here, it feels safe, but that's not the point. The point is that you have got to believe me and I need you to get me out of here.' _John's thoughts broke out of their trace and bombarded the voice. He stopped them before they did any damage and spoke using his proper voice.

'Sherlock. Ok, not human, got it. Next question, why the hell are we here? Or, even better, where is here?' Something unnameable flashed in the detectives eyes before he cleared his throat again.

'Well, to answer question two, we're in the MIB holding cells in America. I would expect we're here because they've found out about my…differences.' John became to puzzled.

'Why does it matter if you're human or not?' The detective chuckled,

'It doesn't normally. The only thing is that I'm not registered. I was born here, you see. And Mummy, well she didn't want her only child to be under constant watch all his life so she didn't let on to my birth.' John knew part of that was a lie but he wasn't stupid enough to alert Sherlock to the fact that he wasn't an only child. Mycroft had enough on his plate with his 'minor government' duties to have to fight of the American alien squad.

'Sherlock,' John said, changing the subject. 'You look human enough to me.' A filthy crooked grin crossed the detectives face.

'When we get home, I'll show you.' John nodded, wondering what that grin was for.

'Ok, you lot can let him out of the restraints now. I doubt he'll talk anymore with them on.' The doctor said to the wall. Sherlock nodded,

'He's right, I won't.' John blushed slightly,

'Ah…so.. You knew.'

' Of course I knew. What do you take me for? They would never just allow me to have a visitor, even if that visitor was the guy I'd been shagging. So the reason you're here must be that you were set up to get information out of me.' John was blushing even more now, though in his head was a different story.

'_Sherlock? What. The. Fuck?'_

'_Just go with it'_

'_But they all think I'm…that we're…Sherlock, that's just wrong!'_

'_Please do remember how often I'm in your mind, my dear Watson, I think we both know that that is not the case.'_

'_Shut up.'_

The cuffs retracted into the chair, releasing the detective, who lunged at the doctor. The next thing John knew, he was pinned against the wall, his arms held above his head by the consulting detective who also had the doctors mouth completely to his mercy.

'_Sherlock!'_

'_hmmm?'_

'_Get off me!'_

'_We have to make this realistic, John. Besides, don't tell me you're not enjoying this.'_

John had had enough. He didn't care if the detective was a time lord from the planet Galifrey, he wasn't about to just surrender to the other. The soldier pushed off the wall and, at the same time, flicked his foot which caused the detective to trip and fall backwards onto the floor. Now John had the advantage had he planned to make full use of it. Sherlock was stunned, not quite believing the tea loving man would actually use force, and inadvertently surrendered, moaning loudly as his own mouth was attacked. John eventually moved off the others mouth in favour of nipping his ear then down his neck before getting up, all too soon for Sherlock's liking.

'You guys may as well come in here and get what you want from him then.' John called out. The door opened as soon as the words had left his lips and only one man entered this time.

'We have all the information we need. The only thing Sherlock needs to do before we allow you to leave is to register to the list of aliens living permanently on Earth. We can see he has a master on Earth so if you want him to stay here we can't say no.' John narrowed his eyes and whipped his head round to Sherlock.

'What are they talking about?' the other man coughed slightly, colour rising in his cheeks.

'One of the things I didn't tell you. My, uh, species.. Well, we aren't allowed to live on Earth without a master. Um, someone who looks over us and makes sure we don't do anything stupid and well, uh, our…relationship makes you my master….um…surprise?' John pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to a zillion before turning back to the man in the suit.

'Well, I want as soon as possible so lets get this over with.' The man nodded and stepped aside to let him pass. 'Come on, Sherlock.' He called back. The man followed unquestioningly as they walked down the corridor to a foyer-like room. Sherlock was given a form to sign which he then passed to John, who also signed it and passed it back to the man. The form was filed away and the man turned back to them.

'Ok, we have a jet ready to take you back to Baker street when you're ready.' John nodded and took Sherlock's hand in his own.

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><p>The Jet had somehow landed on the roof of 221 Baker street without anyone noticing at all. Though it was just gone 1 in the morning so the chances of anyone sober being outside was slim. The two men made their way into the flat via the roof door, both silently praying that Mrs Hudson wasn't in. Thankfully, the landlady was nowhere to be seen as the men walked quietly into the living room. Once he was sure that the woman wasn't in the house, John turned on his flat mate.<p>

'Right.' He said, menacingly, 'You are going to show me what you really look like. Now, Sherlock.' Surprisingly the man didn't refuse. As he took off his coat, his figure was already beginning to change. He grew taller and his eyes became like that of a cats. His ears now ended in a point and his nose was now two slits. He smiled and his teeth, which were a brilliant white, sent shivers down the doctors spine for they were probably the sharpest things he had ever seen. Finally managing to drag his face away from the detectives face, John let his eyes wander down the rest of the males body. He was still humanoid in shape and his skin remained the colour of porcelain. It was a lot to take in but John did it. He smiled.

'_John. My John. Can I kiss you?' _the voice asked in his head. The soldier looked at the man.

'Do you really need to ask?' The filthy grin appeared once again on the taller males face as he lunged with in human speed and attacked the doctors mouth. Sherlock's tongue, which was now longer and more pointed, ran round the inside of Johns' lips, the man shuddered despite himself as he felt the electricity spark between them. John didn't realise that they had moved until he found himself being thrown down onto the bed. Shock coursed through him and he tried to find his voice but Sherlock's hands were already removing his jumper and shirt at the same time. Once they were off, the detective started to move on to the next offending item of clothing. Using all the strength he could muster, John sat up and halted the taller male's hands.

'Stop Sherlock.' he gasped. The Male looked hurt but did as he was asked.

'John? Not good?' The doctor smiled.

'It's fine, Sherlock, I just feel that we're going too fast.' Sherlock's eyes sparked with understanding.

'I won't leave you John.' He whispered into the others ear. 'I can't, even if I wanted to. Being a master is not something that either choose. It just happens. The only reason I'm allowed in your head was that you never said I couldn't.' The shorter male processed this new information then looked back at the detective.

'Well then, it seems to me, that we are still wearing far too many clothes. Especially you.' With that, he jumped his flat mate, unbuttoning the silk shirt and pulling him back onto the bed.

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><p>John woke with the sun glaring through the window. He thought back to the past events and was about to shrug it off as a bad dream before he realised that the reason he felt so warm was that his flat mate was currently half lying on his chest. He was in such a way that the soldier knew he wouldn't be able to move without the other man knowing about it. The doctor sighed.<p>

'Ah, good, you're awake.' John practically leapt out his skin, waking Sherlock who was still in his true form.

'Mrs Hudson.' John said, quickly covering Sherlock, 'What are you doing in here?' the old woman smiled.

'After I got the call from MIB that they were bringing you both back I thought I'd see that you were ok. You never can tell with these American organisations. Sherlock, dear, there's no need to put that silly human disguise back in place. I know what you are. Congratulations on becoming a master, John, I knew you would be just perfect from the moment I saw you.' This time it was Sherlock's turn to be shocked.

'You knew?'

'Of course I knew, I may be an old woman but I'm not so blind that I can't see what's right in front of my eyes. My best friend at school was an alien, still lives in England, she comes round for tea from time to time. I'll introduce you both.' She looked at the too men. 'John, I'd get those bites seen to if I were you, they look like they could turn quite nasty. Well, I'll just leave you both to get dressed then. I'll put the kettle on for you.' then she left the room. John hadn't even realised he'd been bitten. He went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. _Holy shit. How could I not have noticed them?_ He looked like he had recently had a fight with a large dog. And lost. John had a quick shower then went back into the bedroom, wrapping a towel round his waist. Sherlock looked at him and winced.

'sorry. I didn't realise I was doing that. I don't know what came over me. I won't do it aga-'

'Sherlock. What the hell has gotten into you? I've never heard you apologise to anyone and mean it. Ever. I've lost count of how many times you have said sorry to me these past two days. If us being together s going to make this much of a change in you then we'll go back to the way we were before.' Sherlock breathed a sigh of relief.

'So I don't have to apologise every time I do something wrong?' The detective asked, slightly confused. John sighed.

'Ok, lets get this over with now. I'm going to set some rules for you. They may change later but these will do for now:  
>Don't apologise for anything you wouldn't normally,<br>You can bite me as much as you like as long as it's not in public and the bite marks can't be seen when I'm wearing my jumper,  
>Yes, you can still insult Anderson as much as you like,<br>I'd prefer it if you looked human while going outside,  
>Basically, don't change from the way you were before. Ok?' Sherlock grinned and nodded. Suddenly the detective mobile rang. The taller man answered it and his grin grew wider.<p>

'We'll be right there.' he hung up and leapt out of bed, quickly slipping on his clothes. 'Come on John, there's a murderer on the loose!' John chuckled to himself as he got dressed and followed his detective out, stopping only to call to Mrs Hudson to say they wouldn't be needing any tea.

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><p>Mrs Hudson smiled to herself as her two boys left the flat and hailed a cab. Specks of what had already happened, what was happening and what was to come flecked in her mind. <em>Yes, her two boys were going to have a great life indeed.<em>

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><p><strong>AN-<strong>My enternal love and hypothetical hugs and kisses for all who review!

B  
>x<p> 


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